"we’re having mcdonalds for dinner"
"i made cookies"
"i did your laundry for you"
"we’re going out you’ll be home alone for a few hours"
When you say something smart and people are shocked
OMG, HE’S HELPING HIM BACK INTO THE OCEAN
i officially like animals more than people
on a reblogging/tumbr spree, this is too amazing to skip over
we’re gonna be weird adults
I JUST NEED TO BE KISSED AND CUDDLED RIGHT NOW OK I DESERVE IT IM A GOOD PERSON I RECYCLE
Teachers that constantly make personal comments
If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.
Why the fuck would I do that